If you are a perfect parent and have perfect kids Congratulations... you don't need to read any further. However if you're like the rest of us and feeling like you miss the mark many times and are feeling like you are not measuring up then read on.
There's no such thing as "Perfect Parenting" or "Perfect Children" it's just not a reality. So why then do we spend so much of our lives either striving for perfection or demanding perfection in others when the truth is we are all imperfect people? So many of us walk around with deep wounds and so much baggage feeling like we are failing at life because we are not measuring up to the ideal Mom, Dad, Spouse, Son, Daughter, or Friend we may be measuring ourselves with. We need to somehow get our minds around the fact that this idea of perfection is not reality. There are no perfect people, no perfect parents, no perfect kids, and no perfect families. So maybe that's the bad news, but here's the good news... you are enough. Did you hear that bit of "gospel"? God knows us and sees us just the way we are with all of our imperfections and flaws and still loves us with complete and everlasting love. An unconditional, transforming love that will absolutely bring wholeness and healing to our lives and to our parenting and marriage relationships.
If we bring this idea of perfection into the way we parent being so focused on raising perfect kids we'll end up frustrated and weary. We'll also most likely end up passing this idea of perfection on to our children setting them up for failure and feeling they can never measure up. We need to learn for ourselves to accept our own imperfections and teach our children to do the same by mirroring that for them. Holiness and really virtue in general is passed on much more by resonance, by modeling than by instructing... children will mirror us like it or not. The way we experience God seems to be the perfect, ultimate mirror.... that which receives everything just as it is without correction, distortion, without adjustment. Isn't that what we are all longing for someone who can see me, know everything about me and still receive me and love me just the way I am? Think about it, a mirror simply receives it doesn’t distort. This is how God sees and receives us and the transforming power of this unconditional love... "Hidden with Christ in God".
In his book "The Universal Christ", Father Richard Rohr writes- "The true and essential work of all religion is to help us recognize and recover the divine image in everything. Our job is to mirror things correctly, deeply, and fully until all beings know who they are. A mirror by its nature reflects impartially, equally, effortlessly, spontaneously, and endlessly. It does not produce the image, nor does it filter the image according to its perceptions or preferences. Authentic mirroring can only call forth what is already there. Consider the very “Mind of Christ” as a mirror. The Christ-mirror fully knows and loves us from all eternity and reflects that image back to us. I cannot logically prove this to you, but I do know that people who live inside of this resonance are both happy and healthy."
If we can have this mind of Christ operating that way then in our parenting styles now our children are also being given a mirror to be able to see themselves in a real and healthy way and not only that they will also begin to have the same mind of Christ to view the world around them and other people that way too. To see our children growing up in grace, kindness, love and acceptance of themselves and others is such an amazing possibility.